When dealing with a covert narcissist struggling with addiction, it’s essential to implement specific strategies tailored to address both the narcissistic tendencies and the addictive behaviors. Covert narcissism exerts a profound influence on the recovery journey from addiction, complicating the process with intricate psychological dynamics and challenges. Narcissists tend to struggle with feelings of inferiority, using addictive substances or behaviors to seek temporary feelings of superiority and validation. This can create a cycle where substance abuse worsens symptoms of covert narcissism, hindering progress in addiction recovery. They may marry, obtain a good job, and even have a family, but there is little peace behind the façade. To cope with the crippling self-doubt and self-hatred, many will turn to drugs and/or alcohol.
When looking for signs of covert narcissism in addiction, several key indicators emerge, shedding light on the underlying issues driving the individual’s behavior. The table below outlines these signs, providing insight into the intersection of covert narcissism and addictive tendencies. When dealing with covert narcissistic abuse, or any form of abuse, a safety plan can help protect you if a harmful situation escalates.
Signs of Covert Narcissism in Addiction
It’s a covert narcissist and drugs tightrope walk, balancing the need to build self-esteem while also challenging narcissistic defenses. But with skilled therapists and a commitment to change, recovery is possible. Both grandiose and vulnerable narcissism are strong predictors of alcohol-related problems, according to a 2018 study of 345 college students. Today’s episode is about validation—what survivors wish more people understood, and why the world needs to do a better job in listening, believing, and supporting those who are going through this invisible abuse. By Jodi Clarke, MA, LPC/MHSPJodi Clarke, LPC/MHSP is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice.
Unveiling Narcissistic Traits in Mothers: A Guide
- Remember, a narcissist feels small, so they have to make themselves « big » somehow.
- One must treat both narcissism and addiction when the disorders co-occur.
- However, as the relationship progresses, the covert narcissist’s lack of empathy and tendency to use others for personal gain becomes evident.
- They will suggest that they are the ‘victim’ of the other persons anger, insecurities, ‘issues’ and so on.
A key feature in this issue is a difficulty in sitting with uneasy emotions such as anxiety, neutrality, boredom or shame – this can fuel addiction. Active addiction is also arguably selfish and self-seeking in nature and manipulation and lies are often a part of supporting the gaining and use of whatever the drug of choice is. Narcissistic addicts will often seek partners or others to clear up the various forms of mess that their addiction creates. This also ensures they continue to avoid taking responsibility for themselves – which is not healthy for any relationship. Covert Narcissists share the same core pathology as the more obvious overt narcissist however the covert types are usually more willing to show their ‘vulnerability’. However, please note, that in line with the manipulative and self-seeking actions of any narcissist, this will be with the aim of serving their own needs and gains.
The Narcissistic Addict
Compartmentalizing thoughts and seeking support from therapists and support groups can aid in coping with the pain. Focusing on personal strengths, resilience, and the belief in goodness is crucial for survival. Sharing the truth with children and striving for peace, love, and harmony is paramount in overcoming alienation. Research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Journal of Research highlights these distinctions, shedding light on the contrasting behaviors of covert and communal narcissists.
They are deeply resentful of others who have what they desire yet believe people are very jealous of them. Narcissists are also incredibly talented at probing for attention and compliments, such as referring to themselves as ugly, fat, or stupid. Positive affirmations from others discounting the negativity will build up the narcissist’s insatiable need for attention and accolades.
More in Personality Disorders
This hidden connection, lurking beneath the surface of seemingly ordinary lives, can wreak havoc on individuals and their relationships, leaving a trail of confusion and pain in its wake. It can be very challenging to get a person with narcissistic personality disorder into treatment, especially because it is highly unlikely that they will admit they have a problem with addiction. Yet, if you know a person with this disorder who really requires help, look for a way to offer them a helping hand. Narcissists and addiction have their own unique treatment needs, and finding a treatment centre that can focus on narcissist rehabilitation is important. It is important to note that people with an addiction do not always show signs of a narcissistic personality disorder and that people with narcissism do not always develop an addiction. Calling out covert narcissism can be difficult, but it starts with being mindful of behavioral patterns and paying attention to that gut feeling you have when something feels a little off.
People with narcissistic personality disorders share similar traits with addicts, and both types of narcissistic personality disorder may lead to addiction. Narcissism is a personality disorder that shares many common traits with addiction. There are two types of narcissism, both of which may lead to tendencies in people that can, in turn, encourage addictive behaviors. Like the overt narcissist, the covert narcissist fails to develop emotional empathy, self-awareness, or a stable sense of identity and self-esteem in childhood. Recognizing covert personality traits requires looking beyond obvious appearances, past common assumptions and expectations. For this reason, covert narcissism is more difficult to spot, and it can take years to recognize it in someone you think you know well.